Sex Is Medicine Is Back!

Sex is Medicine is Back Transcript:

3… 2… 1. Hello and welcome. I am Devi Ward Erickson.

And I am Alaina Salks.

And you are listening to Sex is Medicine Reboot! You’re not one resource for holistic sex education, and why are we your number one resource for holistic sex education? Well, I’m about to tell you.

Woohoo!

We are your literally, I’m not joking, y’all, number one resource for holistic sex education, because Alaina and I together have over 27 years of combined expertise in the field of holistic sexual healing and authentic lineage-based tantra.

And Alaina and I, together, co-founded the only. Still the only, first and only government-accredited school for holistic sexual healing, tantric sexual healing in the world. We did that.

Together, and we have worked side-by-side for over a decade. Training and certifying over 150 people in authentic lineage-based Tantra, which may not sound like a lot, but when you’re talking about authentic Tantra, that’s a whole shit ton of fucking karma you gotta deal with with a hundred.

Practitioners under your wing. And together, we have supported thousands of people around the globe.

In healing and integrating body, mind, spirit, and sex using holistic healing and authentic lineage-based tantric methods. So together, we, like, we are the dream team, and Alaina, the fact that we have… we have worked together for over a decade.

Yep.

Yeah, it’s been a beautiful ride.

Like, that is amazing. That’s like Wonder Twin Powers Activate. Yeah, a lot of ups and downs, so I really feel like, you know, there was that… what was that movie? There was a movie with Robin Williams, maybe it was Field of Dreams, and it was, like, Kuba Gooding Jr, and…

Maybe it was Robin Williams or something else, but there was, like, this dialogue, and they said there was no one… one of them said, like, one of the characters said, there’s no one I would rather walk through hell with than you.

I feel like there’s no one I would rather walk through heaven and hell with than.

And we have certainly done that together as a team, and so I am… I am so delighted, and I feel so supported in having your shared expertise in this reboot of.

Yeah, thank you for having me for it. I feel really honored to be here with you.

Sex is medicine.

Yeah, yeah. Yay! Audience! So, so… In this episode, we wanna, we wanna share with you, like, what the fuck is up, right? Because…

What the fuck is up with our institute? What the fuck is up with sexist medicine?

Um, because we’ve been through a lot of, a lot of changes, and I mean, from the outside, it may look like.

Is happening. Um, and so I want to share, like, transparently and authentically what has been going on for us behind the scenes.

Uh, personally, because what has occurred for us personally has, uh, deeply influenced how we show up in the world professionally.

Um, and so we want to give you some insight about that, and I personally really have needs for clarity. I really have needs for clarity, and I really have needs to be seen and heard and understood in a way that is, you know, that is congruent with my experience, so… Um, so we wanted to share with you some of the inner workings of, of.

What is happening? Wtf is actually going on, and why? Yeah, cool. All right.

So, so we’re here, we’re back, sex is medicine, and as you may have seen, we warmed up our podcasting muscles.

Uh, with our Tantra Talks that we launched in, I believe it was May, just this last May, June, uh, we had Lama Tashi joining us for that.

Um, and that was… that was… that was… I’m gonna call it our warm-up. That is actually what, what, what.

Birthed our choice. Um, to relaunch sex as medicine.

Um, and so, for those of you that don’t know, sexist medicine was born in 2013, so 13 years ago was our first episode, my first episode of Sex is Medicine back on Contact Talk Radio Network. I recently learned, I heard from some students, that they have been listening to Sex is Medicine for a decade, y’all, so that.

That is amazing! That is some longevity. And when… when I first launched Sex’s Medicine, I actually… it was called Better Love and Sex.

But 11 sacks. And then in 2015, uh, we rebranded this sex as medicine to refine the focus, because that’s what we’re about. Like, truly, truly, truly… Sexual pleasure, mindful, connected.

Deep sexual pleasure is a pathway of healing and transformation, and I believe that and know that in every cell of my being.

And so that is the medicine that we want to share with you, that is the wisdom, the knowledge, and the power that we want to share with you.

And so sex is medicine, uh, the brand was emerged onto the scene in 2015, and then we went until 2021, like, non-stop, back-to-back. And in 2021, I just wanna… Toot our own horn, we actually… I actually received an ASECT award, uh, for… for Best Podcast Series in 2021. So, Sex as Medicine is a legit.

Apparently, I can legitimately say that it is an award-winning podcast, y’all. We can legitimately say that.

Uh, and we needed to take a break for a while and regroup and reconnect, and I just want to say that I am so thrilled.

Absolutely thrilled and delighted to be back online, running my big mouth!

With and for all of you bustin’ myths, transforming. Our… the landscape of sexuality?

And one of the things that Alaina and I are really excited about is being able to really… to bring you, again, expert information, because in the time that we have been in the field, in our over 27 years of combined expertise.

We have borne witness to the explosion of the sexology industry, and that is amazing.

The more voices there are out here. Um, educating about human sexual functioning, and how… how our sexual pleasure and our sexual intelligence.

Can be a pathway of evolution and healing and growth. Harmony is so, so important, so celebrating…

The emergence round of applause, celebrating the emergence of so many new and profound and expert voices in the field.

And along with the expert voices, there’s some shit, y’all. Like, really. Like, when you throw capitalism into the mix, you’re gonna get, you know, you’re gonna get opportunistic stuff.

And that’s just the way the world works. And so part of what we want to do with sex as medicine is we want to bust up some myths. We want to address some of the.

Ish, we see online, and we want to… we want to counteract that. And with loving kindness and compassion, we want to be nice about it, but we don’t want you walking around.

Believing that your vagina should be numb, and you shouldn’t feel pleasure doing penetration, or that anal sex is gross. Like, we don’t want you to believing.

Be believing those myths, or you have to be in your full feminine to attract the power of the man. Like, we want to bust that shit up for you, okay?

And again, we aren’t newbies! We aren’t like the girl on Instagram that’s got a cute butt, so she’s got a million followers. That’s not us. We have been here for.

Over 27 years together. And we have founded a school!

That is the… still the only government-accredited school in. In the world, teaching the methods that we teach. So… so we want to bring dignity!

We want to bring dignity and integrity. To the conversation of holistic sexual healing.

Anything you want to add to that? My compadre.

Yes, thank you for all of that, that was beautiful. And I just wanna… reiterate, yeah, I’m really excited to bust those myths.

And I feel like a huge part of why we ended up.

Deciding to do this together is because one of our favorite things is to hang out and rail against all of the misinformation that is out there. Um, and so… You know, we’ve been really busy running a huge certification program and doing this business, and it’s wonderful to have an opportunity.

To be here together, and get to show you all what happens.

In the back end for us, you know, when we get to hang out and talk and share.

Information that we have.

Well, if we’re really gonna share with them… Ah, we need to have, like.

Margarita and a joint, and then y’all would hear some shit, so that probably is not suitable for YouTube.

At all. And so, so, uh, before we dive into today’s episode, that might be a good episode, but.

Before we dive into today’s episode, I want to remind you all to like and subscribe on whatever platform you’re listening to, sexes, medicine, broadcasts on YouTube, and we’re trying to boost that YouTube channel up, and we have beautiful backgrounds!

So, if you, if you are not checking this out on YouTube, I am gonna highly recommend that you do. Today, we are in my bedroom.

So you get to see where the Ericsson magic happens? Wow, right? So, Meg, you’re only gonna see that on YouTube, so go to our YouTube channel. You can find us at Holistic Sexology Institute, okay? At HolisticSexology Institute.

I know all the changes are sometimes hard to keep up with, but that’s where you’re gonna find us. That’s gonna be our at, holisticsexology Institute on.

Youtube, uh, and make sure you click like and subscribe. We’re trying to build our YouTube channel. We’ve been shallow banned, y’all.

Like, really? Like, so the more you can like, subscribe, and share, the better, so that’s gonna break up that shadow ban for us. And then if you’re listening on Spotify, iTunes, make sure you subscribe, and give us a rating, you know, and also give us comments, let us know, like, is my mic too? You know, is it too, is my… did you not like my mic? Is it too echoey? Do we need, you know, this background janky? Like, do you want my makeup to look.

Different, like, maybe not all that critical feedback, but, you know, let us know what you think.

And if you have questions, we want your questions. Trust me when I tell you we love.

I love answering your questions, we truly do like that! Something else that we like doing more. So, um, send us your questions. We’re on Instagram, we’re still…

By the time this episode drops, we might be at Holistic Sexology Institute on Instagram, but we got shadowbanned on Instagram, so they’re being kinda… salty about changing our name, but you can find us at… the title of our page, uh, Change from Institute of Authentic Tantra Education.

Which we will talk about why that change happened, to Institute of Holistic Sexology.

Um, and our at may still be at Authentic Tantra, but we’re trying to get it changed to at Holistic Sexology Institute, so… I hope you followed all that. Just look at Holistic Sexology Institute, and you’re gonna find my gorgeous face.

And Alaina’s gorgeous face. Why, that’s fair. And that is where you will be able to, uh, like and subscribe and continue, um, getting your episodes of Sex is Medicine.

Yeah, okay. So… Let’s dig in, let’s… what’s… what… what’s been happening?

And why WTF? Wtf is going on with the Institute and Davey, and Sex Medicine, and Tantra, and all of that, so…

I’m gonna back up 2 years. And, uh, start from the beginning of this, I’m gonna call it this transformational journey. So, some of y’all know, and some of y’all don’t know.

That in August 2023, it was August 18th of 2023, my entire.

Home, burned on down to the ground. In an out-of-control wildfire in West Kelowna, British Columbia. So I am a survivor of climate change catastrophe. Yes, that is why that out-of-control wildfire burnt down, you know, the whole… the town.

Essentially. Um, and, um, and that was… that was a shock. That was a profound, profound, profound shock, as you can imagine. So… Um, yeah, so the… I’ll give you a little bit of the story of that, because it was pretty, pretty amazing.

Uh, so on August 17th, I was… the timing of all this is amazing. So we had actually put our house.

Our house on the market for sale a week before it burned down, y’all. We were actually trying.

It’s a seller house, fully furnished. We wanted, essentially, a walkaway price. We were offering it a walkaway price, because we didn’t want to deal with all the furniture and all that, we just wanted, like.

Sell the whole thing, take our precious, you know, heirlooms, family heirlooms, and record collection and books, and walk away.

And so we had put it on the market. Um, literally 7 days before a burndown.

And then we were in the process, we’re about to open registration for our Tantra Healing for Couples program. We were gonna open registration, like, the following week, and so I was actually sitting down.

On that Thursday morning, August 17th, to work on. Uh, the Tantra Healing for Couples program, and I remember, uh, so my office was… my office where I was working was up on the second floor, and it overlooked the lake, and it overlooked the woods, because we lived in a wooded area, and you know, the forest and the trees, and all that, and I was at my computer.

And Chris came up, and Dr. Erickson came up, and he was like, you know, I just want to let you know that.

There is a, um… there’s a fire evacuation alert.

Right? There’s an evacuation alert, so it’s not an evacuation order, it was an alert, but we’d been under evacuation alert before. We lived in the Okanagan Valley, there’s, you know, fires because there’s drought, because there’s climate change.

Um, so… so we had been under alerts before, so I didn’t really think too much of it.

And, uh, so I just kept working on the computer, right? And then, so I’m working there, and this was about, like, 9 or 10 in the morning, and then, like, around 11 or 12, I saw, like.

A family of coyotes. Go through the yard, and I was like.

Oh, cool! I can’t sink coyotes in the wild, or maybe they were foxes. I was like, oh, what else? And then there were.

Like, a whole troop of deer came through, like, from, you know, going across the screen. And I was like.

Okay, there’s a lot of deer? That’s okay. And then, I saw a mama bear and her two cubs.

Hustling! Holland booty across our yard, and that was, like, around 1 in the afternoon, and that was, like.

We gotta go. We better go. And so, um, so we actually began our evacuation process before the evacuation alert became an order.

So, um, so we looked online, and you know, they’re like, oh, pack an overnight suitcase, like, you’re gonna be gone for 2 or 3 days, you know, pack your, like.

You know, whatever you think you might need, blah, blah, blah. But they didn’t see it, they didn’t… like it was a big deal, but they were like, tape your windows, you know, and, like, do all this stuff. And because we had just put the house on the market.

We… we were… we really didn’t want any damage to happen to the house, so we spent.

Hours! Hours taping windows, pulling furniture back from the windows, like…

I don’t know, securing things, I can’t remember all the stuff we did. All I just remember is, like, Chris taping windows for hours, like, all the windows, we had all these big… floor-to-ceiling windows, he taped all the windows all around the house.

Et cetera, et cetera. So we were preparing the house for… to prevent fire damage, as much as we could. We were seriously not expecting our house to burn down, because who does, right?

And the evacuation, you know. Alerts don’t say.

As if your house is about to fucking burn down and pack all the shit you actually fucking want. They don’t say that because I don’t want to scare you, but they should. They should be saying, like.

Pack all of your treasures, because you will never see them again.

So, um… so Christmas tape and windows. And I was like… like a big-ass suitcase. So I, like, went around the house, and I remember Chris and Lori were laughing at me, because I, like, cleared the shrine. I’m just, like, scooping shit up.

Like, running through the house, grabbing stuff off the wall. Like, I would look at something, and I’m like… and I would just, like, in a split second, I’d be like.

Do I love that? Yes or no? Can I live without it? Yes or no? And that is what determined what I actually put in that suitcase, just by determining, do I love it?

Yes or no? Can I live without it? Yes or no? And if it was a no, I grabbed it. Like, I grabbed, like, I had this whole bulletin board of pictures of my now-deceased brother.

That I brought with me, because when I looked at it, it was like, do I love it? Yes. Can I live without it? No! So I… Fuckin’ put it in… put it in the truck.

So, um, so again, we were doing this before the alert had turned into an order.

So I think at this time, it was, like, 3 o’clock in the afternoon, and again, we’re, like, you know, I’m running around the house, Chris and Lori are laughing at me, and I’m just like, look, I’m like.

Like, what is Disaster Davey. You can call me Disaster Davey. I will play… I’m like, if a disaster can happen, what is the worst thing that could possibly happen that will probably happen?

Just in case! Just in case, Disaster Davies, so when the climate apocalypse hits, y’all, you know you can check up with Disaster Daily, because I am preparing.

I’m preparing! I have told my friends, when you need to get the fuck out of the United States.

Come to me, because we’ll have a casita for you. Disaster Davey is planning for it. So…

Anyway, so we actually, like, we hopped in the car, and we packed up the dog, and all the things, and we were driving, and, like.

I have video of the smoke that was billowing over, like, maybe I’ll put that, like, you know, somewhere where y’all can see it. Let me know in the comments if you want, if you want us to see it, or if you want, if you want me to show you.

These videos of the. And the, like, it was like… Talk about apocalyptic, and I’ll.

Oh my god, Alaina, the experience in that moment of, like.

Seeing the clouds, the plumes of smoke come over the hill, and the sky was orange, and like, you could see the, like, the flames!

And, like, the sensation in my body of fight or flight, that was the most visceral experience.

Mm-hmm. La.

Of flight I have ever experienced, and your mind, like, your forebrain shuts down in its pure survival. It’s just like… Get what I need and get the fuck out. Like, it felt like a drumbeat.

In my soul, it was like, go! Go! Go! Go! I mean, it was… It was horrifying, it was terrifying.

So, we’re driving with, like. Clouds of smoke billowing behind us, not knowing that we would literally never see our home again.

And we drove down to, uh, Merritt. Uh, and it’s wild, because we had… I had some friends that were across the lake in Cologne, they were like, oh, do you want to come stay with us? I’m like, hell fuck no, because that fire is about to jump the lake. Like, I just knew it. I was like.

I’m… I don’t want to be within… two hours of this fire. I was like, I don’t want to be anywhere near this fire!

And lo and behold, that night, it jumped the lake, and then some of our friends who had invited us to stay with them, they were evacuated too!

That was… that fire was… it jumped… the lake. And, like, not… the lake wasn’t… not a little…

It was huge! It jumped the lake and started fires on the other side of the lake, and the people had to be evacuated on the other side of the.

Ooh, it had an intelligence! Uh, like, it truly did, that’s what the firefighters were saying, and the indigenous firefighters said that. He said, this fire is sentient, the First Nations fire chief said, this fire is sentient. It has intelligence, it has a direction, it knows where it wants to go.

And nothing’s gonna stop it. He was saying that on TV at, like, 7 o’clock on Thursday night, the night we were evacuated, and I was like.

The fire was right behind their house. I was like, there is no way our house is gonna survive the night. There is absolutely no way. So we spent that night.

In a hotel. Coming to terms with the fact that we would probably most likely not have a home to return to.

And we woke up the next morning, like, I don’t… I mean, I don’t know that we slept. I would say that we were in an altered state all night, and I was like.

I could see those fire element, fire elementals in my mind’s eye, and I… I saw in my awareness the fire element Dikini come up over that hill.

And start chopping houses. Like, I saw her with a skull cup in her left hand, and a hook knife in her right hand, and she was like, I’m taking that house, and I’m taking that house, and I’m taking that house, and I’m taking that house, and she was just…

Scooping them up! And the next morning, we woke up, and I knew in my bones that our house was gone.

And by noon. Uh, the noon that day.

It was gone. The entire house had been incinerated, had gone up in flames.

And, uh, and the wild thing is. The way… the reason that we knew this…

Is because the helicopter pilots that were dropping water. On the houses.

Shared a video of them dropping water on our house. That is how we knew, because everybody else in the neighborhood didn’t know for weeks if their house was gone. Like, people, like, it was a waiting game. Like, in Canada, it’s not like the United States.

And the LA Fire, when people can just go walk around in the middle of a fire, like, Canada’s like, no bitch.

You are evacuated, and you’re not getting back in, and we are not telling you shit.

Until the fire is out! And it is safe to go back in. So there are people that waited, like, literally two weeks to find out if they had a home to go back to or not. We knew the day it burned.

Because the helicopter dude’s dropping water on the fires posted a video on Instagram of them dropping buckets of water on our burning house.

And so we reached out to the helicopter guy, and he told us, your house is gone.

And he cried. He cried and said, I’m so sorry, because he didn’t know by that time we were like, alright, and we were gonna… insurance?

Are we insured?

And sell it, you know, but we’re insurance, so… so he was crying for us, and by that time, we had, you know, of course, it’s traumatic, it’s like the day the house burns down, but we had, like, in our minds, we had come to terms with the fact that this was what was happening.

Um, or most likely what was going to happen, and when we got confirmation from him, we were like, okay, this is… this is… this is what’s happening.

So… sorry, go on.

Yeah. Didn’t… We also, uh, something I remember from the story when you were telling it to me before was.

This emphasis on him saying, like, I tried everything that I could do, and this fire just wouldn’t… not be vanquished. And sort of, like.

With that image of you seeing the zikini coming in. How that seemed to coincide, that, like, with this…

Yeah, this, like, uh, sentience around… the house burning.

Exactly, exactly, and that… thank you for bringing that up, because that is one of the things that he said. He said.

He’s never seen a fire like that, ever. And he’s been fighting fires for over a decade.

And he said that they did everything they could to put that fire out, and it would not go out. And he sat, he’s like, it’s like it had a mind of its own.

That… that was… that was literally, like, the common thread of the… of that fire, and I’m sure it’s not the only one, like, as… as… As climate apocalypse continues, like, this is the thing. The elements are sentient.

Like, this is been the foundation of my teachings for almost 20 years, and the foundation of your teachings for over a decade.

The elements are sentient beings. They have intelligence, they have intent.

They have motivation. They are… they are beings that we can interact with, and that is part of the reclamation of our true human nature, at least for me.

Is reclaiming our abilities to be in right relationship with the elemental energies in our environment.

And, you know, we can get into, you know, whatever on another episode, fossil fuels and all that, you know, what’s fueling the climate change, but… but to me, this is symptomatic, it’s a demonstration, all these climate catastrophes are a demonstration of how.

Out of alignment we have been with our elemental environment, that’s obvious, but they are fucking pissed.

Like, I am taking that shit back. And we are, you know, we are… what is it called? I can’t think of the word. We’re the…

Collateral damage. We’re the collateral damage, so… So, so yeah, so the house was gone, and so that shook, that shook, that shook our, that shook, obviously it shook us to our core, and…

And, um, you know, and particularly the fire started in the shrine.

I was like, wow! If that’s not saying something, you know, and so it’s like… was that bad karma? You know, some folks are like, well, you ain’t got bad karma, your house burned down, you had bad karma. And I’m like, was it bad karma?

Or was it really intense karma. Because the house was on the market.

A week before, and we were well insinsured, and we ended up receiving from insurance, sure, we had to give up absolutely fucking everything, but you know, non-attachment.

But our insurance payout ended up being twice what we would have gotten.

For the sale of the house. So, is it bad karma, or is it intense karma?

Uh, it’ll… it’ll liberated us and allowed us to, you know, to… we were planning on relocating to Costa Rica, and it allowed us to speed up our relocation plans by.

You know, 6 months to a year. So, again, is it bad karma, or was it really… I’m gonna say intense karma. I’m gonna say that… For me, you know, like, part of the vision that I saw that night was Vajray Yogini taking our house as an offering.

We had just, like. We had just remodeled that house, we had just put in beautiful floors, we had just bought all this new furniture, that’s why we wanted to sell it, like, as a walkaway, like, fully furnished, because the.

House was meticulous. Like, I love creating tantric temples, sacred space, and the entire.

The entire house was a Tantric temple, and we had just purchased this smoke offering. We were going to do smoke offerings, burnt offerings, to the Buddhas, and we had just purchased smoke offering.

And we’re keeping it in the shrine. And when I cleared the shrine.

I left the smoke offering on the shrine just in case.

So the entire… so the fire started in the shrine room.

And it went up as a smoke offering to the Dikini.

Whoa.

Whoa! That’s authentic Tantra, yo!

I don’t do authentic Tundra. I burned. That whole house down!

So… so, needless to say. That… that catalogized, like, so much. Like, so… so another, you know, just another overview of, of, like, the impact of our house burning down, so…

What we had in that house, so it was myself living there, Dr. Erickson, my husband living there, and Lori McCracken, one of our senior instructors for the Institute, and who’s just, like, such a gem, and I’m so grateful to.

Have her as part of our little familia, our little spiritual family here. We still live with her now.

And the wild thing is, is all three of our parents.

Had passed. Chris’s mom is still alive, but his dad had passed, my mom had passed, my… My brother has passed, my father has passed, and Lori’s… both her mother and father had passed.

So we had all of our family heirlooms in that house.

All of our family karma. In that house. So Chris had all of the stuff from his father that his father had bequeathed to him.

I had stuff from my mother, and my father, I had historical records. My father’s family.

My father, um, was African American. My father had information about her family tree. He had traced our, um, our familial lineage back to the first West African.

Who had been kidnapped and enslaved in 1806, so he had her paperwork.

And all of the subsequent paperwork since then, now that his family had kept.

All of the records, um, from the time they were kidnapped and enslaved to their emancipation, to the first purchase of their property in Adrian, Michigan. They helped, uh, they were instrumental in establishing one of the major hubs of the Underground Railroad in Adrian, Michigan. We had paperwork associated with that, so we had, like.

History! I had all of my brother’s stuff, my brother passed away in 2016.

Um, and so I had all of my brother’s stuff. Lori had the heirlooms and the ashes of both her mother and her father. I had my mother’s ashes in the house.

So the family karma that was in that home that went up in.

Literally as a smoke offering. Like, the layers and layers and layers and layers of karmic purification that we have experienced and continue to experience from that are, like.

There’s no way we could… I don’t even think we can fathom it, you know, sometimes I get a glimpse, and there’s no way we could possibly articulate it, but… You know, suffice it to say.

Your fire is transformative. That’s an understatement. And so we’ve been going through that transformation. That’s what’s been happening for us for the past 2 years, right? So…

That is what has initiated many of these, like, twists and turns, and I’m gonna say, clarifications.

This evolutionary process these last two years, in which we have come into.

I would say crystal clarity about. How we want to move forward, and what we’re letting go of in order to move forward.

Wow, Davey. Thank you.

That shit’s intense.

It was really intense, yeah. Yeah, I remember that time, and seeing those videos and pictures of that giant columns of smoke.

Lifting up over the forest, and… yeah, hearing… hearing the blow-by-blow of your flight, and…

I had no idea that, um, all three of you lost all of those heirlooms in the fire as well.

Yeah, talking about a purge, like, it really just feels like the karma… like, it just… Two years out, and even at the time, I will say, even at the time.

Like, I had, like, there’s the human trauma of it, but there’s also, like.

The spiritual perspective that we all three shared of that, and all three of us were like, we felt like it was… It was… it was beautiful. It was… it was an offering, and it just felt like it actually transformed that karma.

From our familial lineage, or at least. You know, facilitate or initiated the transformation of, you know, of the karma of our literal genetic lineage.

Um, and so, you know, looking back, it’s like two, you know, two years later, looking back.

And, like… how I was still functioning, you know, through… and, like, still trying to, like, TCB and all that, and I look back, and I’m like, y’all should have just put me out to pasture, man. Like, I should have put myself out to.

But I had that spiritual overview. I’m like, no, this is fine, this is fine, and yet on the physical, physiological.

And, you know, in human level, I was like, you know, it’s been fucking brutal. It’s been brutal. It’s been brutal.

So, um, so both and, two things at the same time.

So, needless to say, as I said, this has initiated, um, transformation, healing, and change in relationship to our work in the world.

Um, because… What we do is… grounded in.

True, authentic Tantra. It is grounded in… lineage. It is grounded in.

Our spiritual yoga practice, and… Therefore… inside-outside, same. What transforms how we transform internally is going to be reflected in how we show up externally.

And professionally, and the business. And this brings me to why… Many of these changes, these recent changes, have been initiated.

And that is because, through this process, what has become very clear for me.

Is that it is necessary, and it is time to disentangle.

My spiritual… My spiritual.

But this is a word I want to look like, I have a sensation in my body, and there isn’t quite a word to encapsulate. My spiritual devotion.

It is time to uncouple my spiritual devotion. From a certification training program.

A professionally credentialed certification training program. Because for me, it is too…

Personal, and it is too personal. Precious. I cannot do business.

With my spiritual practice. Because it is so profound and so sacred.

And so personal for me. That…

I have such profound needs for integrity. An ethics around it.

And… That doesn’t always translate.

To handing people a professional certification. Not to say that we haven’t, you know, we do it with integrity and ethics, it’s just when there’s money involved.

And when there’s capitalism involved. You know, the motivation isn’t pure.

It’s not a pure motivation. Right? There’s, like, hey, we need to get people in this program, and you know, and for many.

Of our graduates the beauty of this certification program is that it has.

Given many of our graduates a pathway of alignment, it has given them a spiritual tradition to anchor into. It has given them spiritual vision.

And again, authentic spiritual practices, and in this day and age, y’all, in New Age.

Efri? I’m trying to not cuss so much. I’ll tell you why, like, maybe in another episode, but I’m trying.

That’s so much! So, but in this day and age of spiritual effery.

Being rooted and anchored in an authentic spiritual tradition that. Thousands of years of history and lineage and tradition.

Is rare and precious, precious gift, and so that is, you know, sustained.

Me and us for so long. Um, and… and yet, as I said, it has come.

It has come to the time to separate those two, to uncouple… conscious uncoupling.

Couple! Those two paths. And so, as I was… as I was saying, and I’ll shut up so you can finally talk too in just a minute!

I was saying, what we have done, the certification program for the last decade, has been so precious and so profound in helping people align with the spiritual tradition.

Yeah, and there have been numerous people that have come through the program in which.

They haven’t been looking for a new spiritual tradition, they just want to heal!

They just want holistic healing methods! They… and rightly so! They… They wanna, like, know and learn and embody how to be, you know, how to heal and transform the relationship to their sexuality, and they want to be able to provide that service to other people, and that is a valid and beautiful thing, and they don’t necessarily resonate with the spiritual component.

And for me. That is intolerable for me. If I am teaching Tantra, if I am certifying you in Tantra.

You must be rooted in Tantra. You must pay homage to the lineage, you must pay homage to the Black Dakini Naguma, you must follow the.

Codes and conditions and conduct. Of the Shank Bakagu lineage and this tradition.

And that is a different… conversation than.

I want to be a professional. In the field of holistic sexology.

Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like, like… being… viscerally aligned with a spiritual tradition.

Is one path. Being a practitioner of holistic sexual healing methods.

It can be the same path, but not… it doesn’t have to be. And it isn’t necessarily the same path.

And for me, my passion and devotion and fierce connection. To my… to my relationship with God.

Like, that is not negotiable. I was a monk at the age of 23. I took vows at the age of 23. I committed my life to spiritual realization. Even though I say, fuck, bitch, I’ve been meditating and masturbating for.

You know, since I was 23! Like that, and I’m 50 now!

Wow.

Quarter of a century. This is my passion. And… my passion.

And my business, my passion can fuel my business, but my passion does not have to be.

A commodity. A certification program.

It does, it does. And in addition to so many people wanting to come in for the holistic sexology and not necessarily wanting the spirituality.

Through my business. Does that make sense?

Vajrayana Tantra is INTENSE, right? Like, everything we’ve just been talking about, like.

But it might! But it might!

Just because you do it doesn’t mean your house will burn down, but it’s the swift… Right? But am I? It’s just… It’s a swift path, right? They call it the swift path, and what that means is that you transform.

Rapidly. And if any of you out there have been doing spiritual pursuits, you know.

That transformation is not necessarily pretty. It has beautiful outcomes, you live a better life, and you get… when you get to the other end of it, but it’s intense.

What do the monks say? Vajrayana, best not to start? Best not to begin, but if you’ve begun, best to finish quickly, right? Like, it’s a really intense path.

Best not to begin. Mm-hmm.

That you really… should only go on if you really resonate with it. And so many of our students have walked the path.

And have found it, and have… And have resonated. It’s been there, it’s been their karma, it’s been… whatever. They’ve gotten into it and been like, yes, this is for me. I’m that way.

Right? I came in for the sex, and I stayed for the Vajrayana.

Um, but… While that is the case for so many students, there were many students where that just… that just wasn’t.

Appropriate for that. And the transformation of Vajrayana was.

Too much. It was just too much.

Mm-hmm. Because it wasn’t right, and it wasn’t appropriate, right?

It’s not fair! To me, I’m like, it’s not fair to make you… Step onto the path of Vajrayana, which is a ball buster, to quote.

Blake Lively. Bust your balls! With teeth, though, bitch, we’re using teeth on this ball buster, right.

So… Yeah, we bite it. We bust it, we bite it. So that… but we don’t! That’s vague!

Stack it, and then we bite it.

Will bust you, and it will bite you, and it will transform you from the inside out. So even though, like, you know, I’ve had all this, like.

Wrenching and eviscerating transformation. I’m like… I mean, the evolution…

Um, and the healing and the well-being that results from it.

It’s really not for… it’s not for everybody. And so, it’s not fair, as I was saying, it’s not fair to require you.

To have your, you know, to. To step on a spiritual path, it may not be right for you.

In order to become certified. To, you know, to support people in sexual healing. And so.

Based on that, we were like. Well, let’s give.

The world! A holistic, healing.

Certification program. That draws from…

Again, are 27 years of combined expertise. As well as some of the most precious pieces of the authentic Tantra Certification Program.

That aren’t specifically Tantra. Right? Because the authentic Tantra certification was rooted in, and, you know, continues to be rooted, in the Tibetan five-element.

Non-sexual and sexual teachings. And woven with modern understanding, because, like, that is authentic Tantra. Like, in our lineage.

It says in the text and the scriptures, like. Authentic Tantra should evolve. It should emanate!

Time period in a way that is going to be congruent with that time period. So.

Authentic tundra doesn’t mean that you have to be wedded to scripts that were written to, you know, transcripts and shit, that were written 2,000 years ago, and that’s the only authentic tantra. That’s what the classical tantra people like to say. Oh, well, if it wasn.

In this Tantric text. Meanwhile, there’s, like, how many millions of Tantric texts that have yet to be transcribed, so, like, you don’t know.

All the tantra there is. You haven’t even read it? You don’t even know! There’s shit that’s hidden in fucking caves that you have in fucking even encountered yet, you know? But for the classical Tantra people, it’s like, well, if it isn’t written in this Tantra text, then…

Meanwhile, our authentic. Says, that authentic Tantra.

Should evolve! To meet the needs of the human beings in the time period that they exist in.

So it is completely congruent with our lineage to have woven modern understanding.

And to support you in the application of these methods. That is congruent with our tradition.

Yeah.

And so… We… we…

Harvested, I don’t know if that’s the right word, it’s kind of a gross word. We, we are… but I’m gonna use the word, we’ve harvested.

I don’t mind it. I don’t mind harvested, it’s like… It’s like picking apples from a tree.

Extracted? What’d you say? You don’t mind harvested? Some…

Fruits, nectar, yes. Some of the most, some of the most, um, you know, some of the.

Just… yeah.

Holistic healing methods. Some of the… and some of the. Methods, and, and practices that arose.

From my… my Tantra practice that aren’t necessarily or specifically Tantras. So, for example, my pleasure journal practice that you can find in Shake Your Soul S.

Like, that is a result of my Tantra practice, but it is not specifically Tantra.

So there are pieces like that that we… that we are translating into this holistic sexology certification training program.

So that there is… there’s still the richness and the robustness.

And the embodiment of the authentic Tantra certification program without the Vajrayana Tantra methods. That is what will not be included anymore, we are not.

Certifying you in Vajrayana Tantra methods anymore! How are y’all? That’s not happening! Because Alaina and I are no longer willing to carry the karmic burden of what that entails.

Yeah, yeah. And when we say we’re not certifying you in Vajrayana Tantra anymore, specifically.

That doesn’t mean that we’re not doing a lot of the things that you might associate with Tantra, right? Like, there’s going to be a lot of different sexual methods.

Um, that give you embodiment and healing and all of those wonderful things that a lot of people associate with Neo Tantra in today’s world.

If this is your first time here, and you haven’t listened to Davey in the past, you might not know that we defined Hantra differently than in other.

Spaces, right? So, we define Tantra as weaving light with sound and form.

And when we’re doing that, we are taking these. 5-element energies that we teach. We teach five-element meditations, and we teach how to use them.

As a meditation… meditative non-sexual practice, and also how to weave that energy into your sexual practice.

So, that energy weaving, that is what we’re talking about. That’s the thing that’s.

Beautiful, wonderful, very intense that needs to be uncoupled from that. The actual practices.

You know, of… of… learning different masturbation practices, learning different intimate practices with.

Your… your partner. The physical sexual practices. Those are still, in many cases, there in our training, they’re just…

Then we’re just not weaving that energy work with them.

We’re no longer teaching the energy body yoga of authentic lineage-based tantra. As a certification program.

So this is where the distinction is really important, because we are still offering these methods for your personal healing.

Yeah. Right.

So, for those of you who are… do you feel drawn to the Tibetan 5 Element practices, who.

Want to learn energy body yoga for your own personal healing practice.

Who want to cultivate an enriching and embodied relationship with themselves, their sexuality, their environment.

Who want to learn authentic lineage-based Tantra. We are still teaching Tantra.

For your personal healing, we’re just no longer certifying teachers. In Tantra. We are certifying people to be holistic.

Sexology instructors, holistic sexologists, period. And because we are authentic.

We cannot. Refrain from excellence.

Why not refrain from excellence. And so our holistic psychology certification program.

Registration will be launching this fall, registration will open this fall, will also be the only government-accredited.

As well as ASECT-approved. Holistic sexology certification in the market.

So once again, we are ringing the bell of excellence, because that is what we are committed to in the offerings that we deliver to you.

Ethics and integrity, and so those spiritual values are still woven into how we do business.

We’re just not requiring you to… step into our spiritual tradition in order to do business with us, eh?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And, um… was there… I think I was gonna say something else about that.

Um, well, you know, I don’t want this episode to just turn into a dissertation and, like, a sales pitch on the holistic sexology certification, so I… one more thing that I do want to say about it.

From my point of view, is that go to holisticsexologyinstitute.com, that is our new URL, holisticsexologyinstitute.com.

And, um, we do have a sign-up page for the certification training program, so, um, uh, as more information becomes available, you know, sign up for the waitlist. We will be sending you emails, and then registration.

We’ve, you know, our intention is October 1st, but it does need to go through the government review process, and y’all know how governments are. So, we’re shooting for October 1st, but we might need to bump registration, early registration, um, a little bit, you know, a few weeks to ensure that it gets through the government bureaucracy funnel.

Before we can open the doors on it fully and open registration on it. But if you sign up for that waitlist, you will be in the know.

You will be the first to know when, uh, when doors open on the Holistic Sexology, the only government accredited.

Asect approved, holistic sexology certification on the market.

All of a sudden. And Davey, I know you don’t want to stick on it… stick on holistic technology, but can I give just my top-line favorite points about this new…

I want you to talk about it! That’s… I want you to talk about it!

Okay, so, uh, we’ve been building this program for the last year.

Uh, and we’re really, really excited. So, Davey and I and our colleagues are… have been working together on building this extraordinary program where we do so many of the things we did with the ATCP.

Which is Authentic Tantra Certification Program. Uh, but also we get to really dive deep into some of these other places that we, um…

Have never really been able to explore before, so it’s a year-long program. Most of it’s gonna be delivered synchronously.

Uh, but you will have a ton of support, which is something that I think makes this program really different from other things that are out there.

Um, as Davey said, government and accredited. Asect approved is our goal.

Um, you have multiple one-on-one sessions with a primary instructor, so you’re really getting that time to.

Connect and deepen with someone who’s been doing this work for a long period of time.

Our faculty is… incredible. They’re amazing people all of them.

Our faculty is amazing.

I… yeah, I could go on and on about how extraordinary they are. Um… And I lost my train of thought, thinking about how great they are. Uh, so you get one-on-one support with our amazing faculty to deepen into everything that you’re learning, so you’re not just sitting there watching videos, being like, how do I use this information?

We include an extraordinary level of embodiment so that you’re actually learning these practices.

Practicing them and getting them in your. Own body, so that after you learn all of these amazing things, you’re able to teach from your own experience of them.

And we’ll be releasing it probably. Twice a year in cohorts, so that we will encourage you to connect with the other people in that cohort.

Form study groups. So, we’re really working and designing this to be, um.

Just really… just really an excellent. Excellent program that will.

Prepare you to be able to walk out into the world and help others.

And it will be an actual academic experience. So that is one of, you know, again, we’ve been delivering the Authentic Tantra certification program together for a decade, for over a decade.

And what we have seen over this decade is the bonding.

That occurs in each cohort? Like, it has been so beautiful to witness that, because it’s… because, you know, because it’s a spiritual path, right, these are… the bonding… each cohort has its own karma.

Right? And these are people that you have lived many lifetimes with, potentially.

And so the bonding and the cohesion that has occurred for each cohort has been really beautiful to witness, and so we wanted to.

Retain that in this new program, and so we’re delivering it.

As an actual academic experience, where there’s, you know, registration, you’re gonna have a cohort.

And we’re gonna encourage you to set up study groups, we’re encouraging you to, you know, there will be discussion forums that will be led by Dr. Professor Chris Erickson.

So, we really want it to be like an online academic experience.

Similar to what we’ve been delivering together for over a decade.

Like, even more expansive, I would say, because… you know, again, Tantra is my spiritual path.

But it is at the spiritual path for everybody, I’ll say it again, and so what I love about the holistic sexology certification is that it opens up the playing field.

For folks who may not be interested in Tantra, but very interested in holistic sexual healing, because the two are not necessarily the same, unlike the way Neo Tantra is presented.

Tundra is not only about sexual healing. Tondra is about cultivating realization from the inside out and transforming karma.

And transforming your reality. Our lineage of Tantra is a shamanistic.

Tradition. It’s about working with the energy of our own body, our energy body, and working with the energy of the elementals.

And affecting and causing transformation, healing. And bringing benefit to ourselves and others.

And we have done a phenomenal job of doing that for, you know, for, again, for the last decade.

Um, and so I love the wisdom and the beauty. Um, of, of, again, transforming into… to opening it up, opening up the pathway.

For more people to benefit from the richness that we’ve cultivated.

Uh, for, again, the last decade. So, um, so we’re very excited about this. I know now it sounds like a sales pitch, and a little bit it is.

And we… we’re, you know, we… we feel really fucking good about this.

So, this is why we… and we also, you know, again, so this is… this episode is about, like, why we changed, so we’ve changed our business name to the Institute of Holistic Sexology, because that is our focus. And again, it’s because it… It opens up the playing field, because the reality is, is, again, Tantra is, you know, the foundation of everything we say and do.

But it isn’t the totality. Of everything we say… say.

And do. Uh, and so we want… we’re broadening horizons, and that is also why we are, you know, we rebooted.

Sex is medicine, instead of just flowing with Tantra talks. It’s because.

You know, A, sexism is an award-winning podcast that some of y’all have been loving, and, you know, uplifting for over a decade. Thank you so much to all of you, and thank you so much to all of you who are here now, who are newbies.

Newbies, we so, so appreciate you. Like and subscribe, like and subscribe, make sure you comment below.

Um, but we wanted… we wanted to do sexist medicine because it’s a broader umbrella!

We love Tantra, and we’re gonna continue doing at least one Tantra episode a month, at least one Tantra episode that’s devoted to Tantra. We’re gonna do at least one of those a month.

For your specific Tantra questions, and again, to mystify, decode, and… You know, and D… whatever.

Deep fuckery tantra, we’re gonna do that. Um… once a month, but we want… we want to talk about a whole spectrum of well-being.

For ourselves as humanity, as human beings. And so, you know, to me, again, needs for… needs for integrity, like.

I don’t want to call something Tundra if it isn’t Tundra.

Right? So, so we want to broaden the horizons, we want to talk all things holistic sexology, we want to bring our over 27 years of combined expertise to the table, and we want to answer your questions!

We wanna… we want to feed you. We want to feed you! From the… from the buffet of wisdom and knowledge that we’ve.

Been… have the privilege. And the, the, um, uh, you know, the devotion to, to cultivate and to, to.

Um, collect. My words are not coming to me. Help me out here, Alaina.

What the fuck have we been doing?

The incredible variety that is available to speak about in human sexuality, and I think one of the things that.

We’ve always been so excited about is… is… Talking about your questions, giving you that information, but from the perspective of.

Our sexuality is a huge part of our lives, and it’s a part of us that is often hidden in our culture.

And it’s… a subject that is difficult to discern, um.

What’s true and what’s not, and is becoming more and more difficult to discern that. So.

It is such a beautiful part of ourselves, and it’s… it’s beautiful to… It’s a gift to be a part of other people’s transformation.

Through their own sexual wellness.

It is a gift. And the other thing I want to say is y’all have been getting some really bad information on this internet.

Yeah.

Alaina has been sending me, as we’ve been doing, building this program, Alaina has been sending me some of these videos.

With these, you know, some of these sexuality influencers that have, like, you know, millions of followers.

And, you know, hundreds of thousands of people are looking at this stuff, and they’re giving you bad advice.

They are giving you better… you know why? Because they don’t have expertise. They may be good at branding and marketing, but that doesn’t mean that they’re knowledgeable.

Yeah.

About sexuality, or that they have the depth. Of knowledge about sexuality, and so I’m concerned for you.

I am! Mama… Mama Davies concerned! Mama Davies concerned! For y’all, some of the information that y’all are getting. So, uh, so Alaina has sent me a whole list of myths.

That we’re going to be busting, and concerning things that we are going to be addressing, because we want to make sure that you have the right information. And we… this information is that we… that we offer is pulled from medical journals, it’s pulled from sexual wellness journals, it’s pulled from books that we’ve read from experts, again, over, you know, almost 27 years.

And it’s pulled from, again, our own embodied experience and expertise, supporting people with these methods.

Like, it is a big deal. I’ve been working one-on-one. And in group coaching settings, with individuals to support them in sexual healing for 17 years.

Years! Alaina has been doing it for over a decade.

That is expertise, and that is what we want to bring to the table. I wanted to give you a little example of how… of how, like, how the landscape has changed.

When I first started… teaching sexual tantra.

And I was learning about female genital anatomy. The clitoral… what we now know call the clitoral bulbs.

Were not part of the clitoris. They were referred to as the vestibular bulbs, and if you made the mistake.

Of including them as part of the clitoris. It was the three part… no, it was a two-part clitoris. You had the clitoral.

Legs, and the cleral shaft and glands, and that was it. Don’t you dare!

Call those vestibular bulbs part of the clitoris, or you would be shamed, because that was not science, you are ignorant!

Look, that was, like, in 2008. Turn around 2 years later, 2010, 2011.

Now, based on the results of a female sexology researcher. The vestibular bulbs are now the clitoral bulbs. Why? Because they contain the same erectile tissue.

They can… it’s the corpus spongiosum! It’s the same erectile… yeah, it’s this, um… is it the cavernoster? No, it’s the spongiosum, right?

Are the bulbs, the legs or the cavernosa, and the bulbs are the spongiosum? Yeah, so… so… It’s the same erectile tissue that makes up the penis!

Y’all? Like, the clitoris is the penis turned inside out? Right? Yeah, that’s what the penis is. Clitoris is inside out, and you… iny and outy, right? So, so…

Yep.

The thing is, is like, I was in the field. Before the clitoral balms were the clitoral bulbs!

And then, all of a sudden, this is a clear bulbs, and now everybody sends the clear bulbs. But I’m saying, like, if you just… if you were online as a sex educator, and you just got into the field a couple years ago.

Like, you haven’t seen this whole… Like, evolution that has occurred! And there’s… there’s pieces in there, not to throw shade, but I’m just saying, there’s, like, there’s context.

That… that you may be missing. Because, like, there’s history!

And there’s depth, and there’s, you know, there’s been evolution. Last 17 years, just in the last 10 years, and I’m sorry, what were you gonna say, Alaina?

Oh, it’s way, it’s way back there. I was just gonna say that the… that the clitoral system.

I was running my big…

And the erectile tissue of the penis have the same, uh, they have the same biological origins.

Yes. And that’s the fun kind of stuff that we want to talk with you about on Sexist Medicine.

That’s all, yeah.

And that’s going to be in our certification program, of course, of knowing the nuances. Like, we’ve got a whole section on, like, intersex.

And justice and intersex, um, anatomy, and… It’s… delicious, and particularly in this day and age, like, y’all, sex is political, and I don’t think…

Well, I’m not even… I was about to say, I don’t think there was a time when it hasn’t been more true.

Bitch, sex has been political from inception. We’ve been living under patriarchy and, like, oppression for, you know, thousands of years, so all… it’s always a good time.

It’s always a good time, it’s always been a good time.

To… to bring this type of sexual awareness and education and inclusion into the conversation.

Yeah.

Inclusion of ALL of our humanity, y’all, because we don’t just fit in these two little boxes, there’s a whole fucking spectrum.

A whole rainbow. And there I am cussing again. I’m trying to not. I’m trying to not!

I’m trying not… and the reason that I’m trying to not is the algorithms… Y’all, the algorithms are a thing, so make sure you like and subscribe!

Join us on YouTube so you can see my pretty bedroom, like and subscribe!

And Alaina’s gorgeous face, you don’t want to miss that. But, so I’m trying to cost less, because some of y’all don’t like me cussing so much.

And, um, and I need to bend into a pretzel to fit your needs. Just kidding.

Um, but also the algorithm doesn’t like it. Um, but I wanted to just take a quick moment, this is a very long episode, but I think it should be justifiably so, because this is our, like, reboot, is I just want to take a moment to share with you why it costs so much, because cussing is political.

Because language is political. And because if you kind of, like, you know, look at the overview of language in Western culture.

It is… there is a prescription of what is appropriate and what is not appropriate, what is proper and what is improper.

And who determines that? Is usually… the power structure. And who is the power structure held by?

Well, we all know those words. Right? White.

Male, colonialist, patriarchal, blah, blah. Those are the terms of engagement. Those are… those are the rules.

And so, who gets to swear? Is… is… depends on social capital. So, for instance, what I’ve noticed, because I observe this, I don’t just, like, consume shit mindlessly, like, I actually watch, like, what the F.

Is happening. And so, in my observations. Wealthy white men are allowed to swear all they want. Like, look at Bill Mayer.

My… however you say his name, he’s got that cable… he fucking fucking.

It’s like, he houses all day long. Like, people on cable news are allowed to cuss.

Mm-hmm.

They’re white men are allowed to cause. And some white women, like Celsia Handler, she’s allowed to cuss, and some other white women are allowed to cuss, because it makes them.

Edgy, and it makes them empowered, and it makes them funny, and, you know, I think there’s, like, the number one podcast, which is Call Me Daddy or something, I was reading about that. I’ve never listened to it, so I don’t know if she cusses, but when I was reading the article, it sounds like she cusses. She’s like, talk like a guy, and you know, da-da-da.

So, I mean, so again, white woman, so white men… And some white women… when they have the approval from white men, are allowed to cuss.

But me, as a multiracial, you know, Black-anchored woman with African heritage cussing, I’m just ghetto.

You know, I’m just low rent, I’m just low vibration, they call me low vibration.

I’m a Tantrica. And so I dance in the hell realms. I’m a Vajrayana Tantriga who dances in the hell realms, so…

I don’t actually live with a judgment of low vibration. I will devour low vibration and shit out rainbows. That’s what I do with low vibrations. I transform them into fucking rainbows. That’s what I do.

So, so, the cussing isn’t about, for me, it’s… there’s, like, I don’t have judgment about.

A little bit in the same way that society does. For me, cussing is part of my self-expression, and it’s also part of my empowerment. It’s also about me reclaiming my right to express myself however the fuck I want to.

Whenever I want to. And I don’t have judgment about good words, bad words. Except for, you know what a bad word is for me?

Geocide. That’s a bad word for me. A bad word for me is racism. A bad word for me is.

Canceling benefits for, um, underprivileged folks. A bad word for me is, um.

Is, um, ice. That’s a bad word for me. Ice, uh, uh, kidnapping people, those are bad words, those are bad actions, right?

And so, for those of you who bristle at cussing and think, you know, it’s low vibration.

Like, I’m gonna invite you to just examine. Your… what you find acceptable in this culture?

And examine maybe why you find it acceptable, like, do you… do you throw shade at women who cuss, but then play video games where you’re blowing people’s heads off?

That’s okay for you? Right? Do you… do you look down and consider low vibration?

Women, women who cuss? But yet you like to watch TV shows where people are beating each other to death, and Quentin Tarantino movies, where you’re literally watching people’s heads explode in front of you, but that’s okay!

Physical violence and watching people murder, being murdered is okay. That’s not low vibration.

But me saying what the fuck? Is low vibration, you know? I mean, it’s like… and maybe both are true, maybe both are low vibration, but look at… look at what is acceptable.

And tolerable, and look at what YOU… are willing and choosing to in ingest.

And normalize as acceptable. When it’s actually horrific!

It’s actually horrific. Just saying, yo!

Okay, so, that was my soapbox. It was, like, an hour-plus soapbox. What were you gonna say, Alaina?

And also, Davey, cussing is good for you, physiologically. Dude! Yeah, it’s, it’s… they… they found that it actually…

Reduces stress levels, it’s good for your brain, um, so it’s… it’s actually a way of.

Reversing all of… well, not reversing, but, like, gaining… getting relief from all of the bad things. Cussing is… It’s pretty good, it’s empowering!

Yeah, and in a culture where we don’t want to see or feel other people’s emotions or them dealing with it.

It’s empowering! It feeds me…

See? So I love that. So what you just said, A, so for me, cussing feels like cutting through obstacles.

Then we’re often not encouraged to cuss, as you said.

That’s what it feels like for me, breaking curses instead of giving curses, it actually feels like breaking curses, but also what I’m hearing you say is it helps disperse toxic stress.

Right.

Right? And I was just reading an article, I’m sure some of y’all are aware of it, I was just reading an article the other day.

About how it was, you know, it was circling about a month ago on social media about how, um.

Chronic stress, and particularly emotional repression. There’s a link between, specifically for women, emotional repression, so not expressing our emotions authentically.

And chronic illness and chronic disease. Right? So, particularly for us women.

For those of us who identify as women in this culture, like, we’re taught, like, good girls, right? To stuff it. And those stuffed emotions cause illness. We know that. That is a factual thing, right?

So, this is our licensed lady, Alaina just gave us licensed ladies to… To cast it up. The algorithm doesn’t like it, so I’m still gonna try and refrain.

I’m gonna try and refrain, but uh… But, um, yeah.

Also, I’m sorry, I’ve never thought about it. Also. It’s a… it’s a privilege to… to not, in many ways.

If you think about… so we talked about who’s in power, right? So, white men, for the most part.

Um, are allowed to cuss, but they’re also. Are allowed not to. They live lives that are more comfortable.

Uh, than others, and… There’s also a class issue there as well, right? Welfare.

White people have the privilege of not cussing, whereas. Other communities.

Classes you, for sure.

You know, it’s more part of the culture, and it’s more part of… You know, they live… they work jobs that are more stressful, or this or that. I mean, not everyone is involved in that, but I guess the perspective I’m coming from.

Is that my family, uh… are laborers, right? And in a laboring community.

Cussing is a huge part of the work that you do, because it’s a difficult… it’s a difficult job. It’s a hard, stressful job, and so cussing is a part of.

Thank you for that. Yeah.

Relieving that stress. So… that might not be for every culture that does communicate… that does cuss, that might not be the case, but…

That was one thought that I had, and… Yeah.

Well, you’re totally correct, it is a classist issue. It is a classless issue. Again, low rent, low vibration, ghetto, those are all classes.

And those are projected onto… you know, particularly women of color.

When we come out fighting, you know? Like, it’s a way, it’s a tool of oppression.

For me, like, and not just for me, like, that’s… it’s a political thing. There’s Mona… Mona Eltaway is… is an author that I read who… who really is, like, you know, is an advocate for.

Cussing, because she says exactly that, that it’s classist. And that it’s… that it’s a power. It’s a power dynamic, and it’s used as a tool to discount and oppress.

So, um, so that’s that. So I think this is a bit of a long episode.

Right.

It’s been a good episode, it’s been our reboot episode. Welcome back, everybody, to Sex.

As medicine? So delighted, so excited for all of us to be here.

I cannot wait to roll out this season, so a few changes to the way we’re gonna do things.

Today, we’re gonna have seasons. We’re gonna have actual seasons, so we’re gonna have start dates and end dates. So each season is gonna be out… be about 3 months long, so this season’s season 1.

Of Sexist Medicine Reboot is going to go September, October, November, and then we’re going to take a break in December and be back in January of 2026, y’all.

Um, and also, as I was saying before, every third episode that we do, uh, is gonna be focused on Tantra, so send us your questions, so your Tantra questions for us to answer them.

Um, and then also, um, with each episode, uh, Lena and I want to address… we’re gonna take the first 10 minutes or so to address a hot topic.

So something… some… some effery… That we see in the media, that I’m like, at 1 o’clock in the morning when I’m on my phone, when I have insomnia, which doesn’t happen so much anymore that I live in Costa Rica, thank you very much, but sometimes.

And I’m on my phone late at night, and I see these articles come across, and I’m like, gets my blood pressure up. I’m like, that’s so wrong!

Or, hmm, that’s an interesting perspective. Let’s tease that out a little bit. So anyway, I’m sending these to Alaina.

Often without context, and we’re going to be going through these, and we’re going to be discussing some hot topics, again, to.

You know, to offer more perspective on some of these topics, celebrity sex, and, you know, and social sexuality things.

Um, and then we’re gonna dive into the content for the episode, and already, I just want to celebrate… that we announced that sex is medicine was back, gonna come back, like.

I don’t know, like, what, a couple weeks ago? Um, interview requests, SAlaina?

A really awesome one come in just yesterday, so we are gonna do… we are gonna do some interviews. It’s not gonna be every episode, because Alaina and I have way too much that we want to talk about.

But we are gonna do some… some… some interviews with some really, um, important.

Important people in the field, uh, really important, and we’re going to continue to target.

Um, underrepresented voices as much as possible in the field of sexology. It’s always possible, so I’m just gonna say we’re going to focus on uplifting underrepresented.

Voices, um, to bring their expertise and their wisdom to the table and to all of you, so that we can have this mutual.

Sharing, you know, of, like. That was the thing I loved about sex as medicine. I am gonna shut up soon, I promise I’m gonna shut up soon, but that is one of the things that I truly, truly.

Valued about having that… having sex as medicine for all those years.

Is the incredible guests that I got to interview. So all of you who were a guest.

On sexist medicine before. Thank you so much. You enriched my life so much. You helped.

You nourished and fed my expertise in the field. And you nourished and fed the expertise of so many other people.

So, I’ve heard… I’ve had it reflected to me that the Sex is Medicine podcast could essentially be a PhD in the field of human.

Human sexuality, and it’s because of you, the folks that said yes to being on the show.

Uh, that’s why you’ve contributed to a PhD in human sexuality.

The internet. So, we’re gonna hope to keep… we are going to keep that continuing. We’re not going to just hope to do it. We are going to do it. We’re going to keep that continuing.

Uh, and continue to just bring you, um. The most credible… Um, ethical and integrity… integrus, if that’s a word, I’ll make it up, integrous.

Uh, holistic sexuality education on the market, in the field. 27 years of combined expertise, you know, that’s hard to beat. That’s like Dr. Ruth.

Right? Dr. Davey, Dr. Alaina, Dr. Salk’s!

Yes.

Anyway, y’all, so once again, I’m going to remind you to like and subscribe. If you are not watching this on YouTube, please do go to our YouTube channel, we’re trying to build that baby. We’re stuck.

Because we’re shadow banned, we need to get out of that shadow ban, so go to YouTube.

At Holistic Sexology Institute, Holistic Sexology Institute, go ahead there, like, subscribe, and hit that notification bell, because we drop episodes every Thursday!

Okay, so every Thursday morning, a new episode comes out. Like and subscribe, Spotify, iTunes, like and subscribe, and leave us your comments, we want to hear, and we take feedback, so be kind.

Be kind to our beautiful little tender hearts. I have complex post-traumatic stress disorder. I’ve done a lot of healing, but I’m very sensitive to criticism, so I like constructive criticism, I like constructive feedback.

But please be kind, and don’t, like, drag my ass through the mud.

No need to… you don’t need to spank me! You don’t need to spank me.

Please.

But we do want your feedback, because we want… we want this… I want pleasure in your ear holes.

I want you to listen to this episode, and I want you to feel pleasure in your ears, and Alaina, I want you to feel pleasure, and we want you to have visual pleasure and audio pleasure. So let us know how we can make your experience more pleasurable, my friends.

Because we very much want to do that. Um, and, um, okay, so that’s it. So we’re gonna sign off.

We will be back next Thursday with another episode.