Learning to last longer and control your ejaculatory response is like a rite of passage for men.
Mastering your pleasure and learning to ride the waves of bliss for extended periods is a skill you can cultivate with time and practice.
The male body is capable of over 11 different types of orgasm, and yet, most men ejaculate within 2-7 minutes of sexual stimulation!
That’s a tiny fraction of your true sexual potential.
Since 2008, I have successfully taught hundreds of men the art of separating orgasm from ejaculation, so that they can last longer and achieve full choice over their ejaculatory response, thereby attaining the holy grail of multiple, non-ejaculatory orgasms for men.
After 20 years of helping men last longer and achieve their sexual empowerment goals, here are my top 4 keys that can help you last longer in bed starting now 👇🏽
1. SLOW DOWN YOUR BREATH!
Next time you are sexually aroused, with yourself or your partner, pay attention to what’s happening with your breath. Is your breathing pattern short and shallow? Does it feel constricted? Are you breathing at all?
Your breath is directly connected to your arousal, and for most men, the more aroused you become, the shorter and faster your breath becomes.
This is problematic because your breath regulates your nervous system, and your nervous system governs your ejaculatory response.
Slowing your breath helps you last longer because it is a form of nervous system regulation that allows you to ride the waves of arousal with intention and choice, rather than being overwhelmed by sensation.
Slowing down your breath, relaxing, and breathing into your whole body helps expand your capacity for pleasure by allowing you to relax with sensation.
Tip #1 to Last Longer – Notice your breath and SLOW. IT. DOWN.
2. Make Eye Contact
Direct eye contact engages the ventral vagal pathway and can be viewed as another form of nervous system regulation.
Direct eye contact, blissful facial features, soothing sounds (like moans) in your ear, combined with deep breathing, all signal to the nervous system that you are safe, connected, and secure.
Making eye contact also helps you last longer by entraining your nervous system with your partner’s, allowing you to ride the waves of bliss in union. Eye contact also increases oxytocin, which enhances emotional bonding and biologically deepens the experience of LOVE.
3. Take a Pleasure Pause
Alter the rhythm by pausing penetration and giving her extra attention in all the right places.
Kiss her secret spaces, change the pace and rhythm of your union, and build anticipation in her body for more of YOU.
Taking a pause helps you “gather your winds” (the moving energy of your body), allowing you to last longer by gaining control over your arousal- instead of rushing to the end.
4. Make Her Come First
The energy body yoga of Tantra instructs that the quality of a woman’s lotus changes with orgasm, becoming more yin – cooler and more receptive.
This cooler yin energy helps balance out the fiery yang energy of your vajra, creating a smoother, gentler, more spacious connection for both of you.
Prioritizing her pleasure also takes the pressure to perform off the table (cuz ya already done did it!) and creates more space to focus on the connection between you.
Lasting longer isn’t only about controlling ejaculation. It’s about cultivating presence, connection, and attunement to yourself and your partner.
