Are you sabotaging your sex life by falling into an “intimacy trap”?
No, we’re not talking about love-bombing and emotional manipulation, we’re talking about the three biggest intimacy traps that men fall into when trying to navigate the complex landscape of post-pardom, perimenopause, hormonal fluctuations, and sex.
For many men, regular, fun sex becomes a distant dream both after kids and through perimenopausal shifts for their partner.
Rejection becomes so common that they don’t even try anymore, and the sex they do have feels distant, uncomfortable, or very one-sided.
In this week’s episode, Intimacy After Kids expert, Sofia Fortin, and Devi Ward Erickson discuss the three biggest traps men fall into in this relationship stage that sabotage their sex life, what is in their power to control and change, and how to shift the vibe from roommates back to romance, no matter what’s going on in their partner’s body.
Uncover the 3 biggest intimacy traps for men:
trap number 1 – waiting for her libido to come back. You can create the conditions for desire!
trap number 2 – frozen in uncertainty, and cutting off non sexual connection and touch
trap number 3 – talking about it to death and seeking validation (hint – chasing her is not the vibe)
Learn more about how you can show up as an empowered man in the bedroom. 👇🏽
Learn More About Sofia:
Sofia Ashley is a certified intimacy coach and host of the Sex After Kids podcast. She helps parents who love each other but feel stuck in awkward, pressured, or one-sided intimacy reconnect in ways that feel playful, safe, and mutual. A mom and step-mom of three herself, she has reinvented her sex life through an autoimmune disorder, chronic pain, and the busy realities of modern parenting.
Her work focuses on nervous system safety, sexual communication, and realistic intimacy tools for real life — not performance, perfection, or pushing past limits. Sofia is known for blending compassion, directness, and humor to help couples move from duty sex to the connection they actually want to return to.
2 Responses
Just saw 3 Ways
Love these programs, love your raw honesty.
Been doing Tantric type sexuality since before I ever heard it was called such. Always about energetics – not always about sex.
One of my Native American Elders said: “There is the wine of the sacrament and alcoholism; Sacred Pipe and nicotine addiction and Sacred Sharing Sex and porn.” Difference is always the energetic, the intent.
You’re spot on connection for a man is physical but that need not be sex. Connection is very important – touch, snuggle, etc.
and you ‘re also spot on that a lot of women think it’s all about sex OR worse that “you’re being a little boy”.
Sorry it’s just the way we men are hard wired.
That scalp massage comment was exact. I can hold you in you healing and “kitchen remodel” if you can just acknowledge me.
Great stuff!
Had a date once, she had wore something with the dress cut down to the belly button showing a large amount of bosom.
Was just being honest when I said: “I came here to meet you. You do know men are hard-wired visual? Because it looks like you don’t want me to get to know the inner you but the outer you or you’re trying to test where my eyes go with an unfair edge. Can you either cover up or should we go somewhere and get to know each others bodies?” She was pissed and left. I was being honest and not there to play games.
Been 6 years without relationship but if I am ever lucky enough to be in another, hoping she will listen to your podcasts like I do.
May never happen but perhaps some of this will linger to the next incarnation!
Keep up the great work!
Larz
Thank you friend! I appreciate your words of encouragement. Thanks for listening and sharing your thoughts 🙂 Sending you good vibes…